Jun 18 2014
2 Comments
Informative

Finally! We’re 65!

65 postIf there’s one thing I have learned over the more than two years that I have been writing this blog it’s that, while I am overall a pretty shallow gal, the one thing I am not shallow about is this blog. Funny, isn’t it? Perhaps even a little ironic, although I have a reliable source who informs me the word is used incorrectly about 95% of the time so you can decide if this is one of those. But funny or ironic, it’s not surprising really. You see for me, being shallow is not some sort of hobby or passing fancy. It’s a way of life. The lens through which I view the world. It’s the core of my very being. So what happens on this blog is important to me. And don’t get me wrong, things happen. At the beginning, you may recall that I expressed some concern about the possibility that writing about being shallow might result in my becoming less shallow. Fortunately, it hasn’t. In fact, while my goal has always been to help others better understand the life of a shallow person, I have come to the realization that, as an unexpected corollary, I too have come to a better understanding of such a life. Just by writing about it.

Honestly, if truth be told and you know it always is, I have to say I have learned more than one thing. I have also learned that, for the most part, shallow people try to view life from the sunny side. Which is not to say that everything is always hunky dory. You may recall that it is possible to be “shallow in a sad world” although one hopes that those times are few and far between. Not just for shallow people but for all people of course. But back to the point. Let’s think about aging. For some people aging is a bad thing. For some people the whole aging process reeks of fear and apprehension. But as a shallow person I have quite a different view about getting older. Let’s face it. Getting older is way better than the alternative. And there are perks. Like never having to lift your luggage off of those pesky carousals at the airport because, without exception, some young fella, seeing you standing there looking rather apprehensive about the prospect of lugging your inevitably overpacked case with the neon “heavy” sticker on it, will insist on doing it for you. And almost everything is cheaper. Movie theatres, drug stores, hotels, they all pay homage to the aged by at least 10%, most of the time. If you’re really lucky they’ll ask you for your ID before bestowing their gifts upon you. As you can see, even if they don’t there is a huge upside to reaching that magic age of 65. Which I haven’t of course. But with a modicum of luck, I eventually will.

And while I still have some time to put in before the “big day” you my friends, have finally made it! There are now 65 of you strong reading this blog. 65 people who have taken the initiative, the big step, that proverbial leap of faith and joined the shallow movement. 65 people who get this very blog sent to their email each and every time it is written. I know. Not all of the 65 are “actual” readers of the blog. Some of you only clicked on my blog so I would click on yours. Others simply want me to benefit from their surefire approach to increasing the revenue generated by my blog. Which in my case wouldn’t be all that difficult since even a buck would be a huge increase for me and I don’t really need to send $5.95 to a post office box in Utah to figure out how to raise that. Nevertheless, you are all here and you all count and I am supremely thankful for that.

Now I may be shallow but I’m no fool. I know that to some people 65 followers doesn’t seem like a lot. But I look at things a little differently. I look at things from the bright side and from that vantage point 65 is 65 more people than were reading anything I wrote two years ago. As a matter of fact, I’m guessing that nothing I have ever written has been read by more than 65 people. Except maybe the article I just had published in Nurse Education Today. Oh my! Did I just unabashedly and shamelessly plug myself in my own blog? Well there you have it. Proof positive that writing about being shallow has definitely not made me even one little iota less shallow. And from the sunny side of the street, that’s just hunky dory!

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May 26 2014
4 Comments
Instructive

Just don’t do it!

stop symbolAs the writer of possibly one of the few blogs on the internet that openly celebrates the rather maligned state of “being shallow” I have always felt it important to share with those who are interested, how to traverse this one little life of ours on the shallow side of the road. No doubt, those of you who have been with me from the beginning, can recall the helpful life lessons presented in posts like “Forgetting, It’s an Art”, or the entire “Folk Fest” series, not to mention the little gems of advice found in “Shallow People Travel Too”, “Blasts from the Past” and/or “There is such a thing as a free lunch”. But lately I’ve been reconsidering my approach to self-help. Lately I have actually been thinking that there could be some value in sharing with you the things that, as a truly shallow person, I would never think of doing. Because knowing what not to do seems to me to be important too. So here’s a list. Not an exhaustive one but a list just the same.

Buddhist Meditation Classes: It may surprise you that this would be at the top of the list as it probably isn’t something one considers doing each day or even lands upon by happenstance. As a matter of fact, there may not even be an option for this type of learning experience in your place of residence, depending on how large and/or diverse that place may be. But suffice to say that in my hometown there is in fact such a class and one of my dear friends has opted to give it a shot. Don’t ask me why. The mere mention of it brought back long, repressed memories of team bonding exercises, all of us lying on the floor with our eyes shut while some self-appointed new age guru recited, in what can only be described as a “nails on the blackboard” monotone voice, relaxing mantras, cajoling us to conjure up images of where on this earth we would most like to be at that moment in time. For me that answer was easy. Anyplace but here. And while my outside voice responded to my friend’s news with “Good for you. I wonder if I’m free that night” the little voice in my head shrieked “just don’t do it!”

Join a Cult: When I was a kid in the “big city” there was lots of opportunity to pledge allegiance to an almost endless number of street corner deities. While the sales pitches differed, some were happy, some sad, others just plain scary, all welcomed new members with open arms. Looking back I have to admit that while the ones with the long black capes were “de rigueur” in the day, I think I knew in my heart that the whole cult thing really wasn’t for me. And it wasn’t just because this particular group (despite their appealing garb) tended towards what can best be described as “the dark side”, given their fixation on the fella down below. It was because no matter what the choice, whether it be the sun, the moon or the capes, belonging to a cult requires an enormous commitment. I mean all that fundraising, chanting and dancing in the street, well wow! It all takes so much time. And even then, even before I became the “shallow gal”, officially, I knew I wasn’t prepared to get into anything like that. And I was right. Shallow people just don’t do that. They don’t join cults.

Exercise: This one is a little more complicated. It’s not that shallow people don’t do exercise. I mean you know I do. As a matter of fact, I frequently go down to the basement to get on that treadmill of mine while watching a couple of my fav shows on the tube. So this one isn’t so much about “doing or not doing” but more about “why” you’re doing it. You see some people exercise because they know it’s good for them. It’s good for the heart, it’s good for the bones, really it’s pretty much good for all parts of the old bod. Shallow people, on the other hand, exercise to lose weight, plain and simple. You put on a few, you gotta do a little exercise to get ‘em off. So in this case I suppose it’s ok to “do it” just as long as it’s for the right reason.

Write a blog: Oops!

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May 13 2014
2 Comments
Informative

This is my Everest

mountainThe other day I found myself thinking about stuff in general. It’s something I do on occasion, sometimes without even realizing it. Not sure why. I’ll be sitting watching the latest episode of whatever reality show happens to be on the tube (yes I still call it that) and it just happens. Thoughts come tumbling into my head whether I want them to or not. And they are not thoughts about the show. They’re other kinds of thoughts. Sometimes random. Other times quite focused. Like when I think about cleaning up the house for my garage sale this June. I think a lot about that. But so far that’s about all I’ve done because honestly, the idea of getting rid of all of the things I should get rid of is a bit overwhelming. Though I take some solace in knowing that my junk will become someone else’s treasure for whatever reason that may be.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s because of all the inspirational commercials on the television (see values.com) or maybe it’s just the time of year (new season, new life etc. etc.) but whatever the reason, the other day I got thinking about how most people, and when I say “most people” I really mean “other people” love a good challenge. People, it would seem, enjoy stretching to their limits by taking on tasks that push them out of their comfort zones, striving to meet lofty goals they set for themselves. Of course as an impartial and nonjudgmental observer of this phenomenon, I have come to realize that not all of these challenges are equal. On the contrary, there appears to be a rather broad range to choose from on the “challenge spectrum” ranging from the somewhat sublime “I’d really like to drop 5 pounds” to the absolutely ridiculous “better start training for that Death Valley Ultra” and everything in between.

Now don’t get me wrong. Not all challenges are physical. The things people choose to take on are many and varied, and from what I can see, limited only by their imaginations. Some are inspired to do good, helping those who are not as fortunate as they are. I know this to be true because, as we speak (I’m not exaggerating) there’s a spot on the telly with a guy rowing solo across the ocean to raise money for cancer. Turns out it’s also an ad for Advil. I think he’s going to need some. Others have more instrumental quests often involving jobs or school or some kind of heretofore hidden talent. Still others have goals that are vaguely esoteric and, in my mind at least, a little nebulous because who can really say whether or not you have “become a better person” even if that’s what you intended to do. And yet, with all of the choices out there, it seems that for a lot of people the ultimate challenge is to climb Mount Everest. Not sure why, it just is.

That’s when it hit me. When it all became clear. As much as I have never gone looking for a challenge, never even suggested that I have a bucket, here I am, plopped smack dab in the middle of it. This my friends, is my Everest. Writing the blog is my mountain to climb. My river to forge. My row to hoe. That’s right…”row”.  It’s like it found me when I wasn’t looking. And no matter how hard I try I simply can’t seem to claw my way out. So here I am. Week after week, month after month, year after year. Seems I’ve taken lots of steps but there’s no sign yet of the top.

My son tells me that climbing Everest is no big deal anymore. What with all the wealthy adventurers looking for a challenge, hiring the locals to do the heavy lifting, there’s practically a clear, paved path to the top.  Which makes me wonder. Maybe I too could find a couple Sherpas to help me along the way.

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Apr 29 2014
4 Comments
Informative

Sometimes we have to say “goodbye”

Once again you’ve been wondering where in the world I have been. Usually it doesn’t matter where in the world I am because no matter where that big bird in the sky takes me I always have my trusty computer by my side for the sole purpose of writing this blog. And playing games. But here’s something I may not have mentioned in the past. Not only do I pride myself for being shallow, I am also brutally honest. Well most of the time. So you should believe me when I tell you that while I have been a little busy lately the truth behind my rather prolonged absence is that I’m having some trouble coming up with things to write about. I suppose that’s not surprising because it’s been two years now and I am a shallow person. How much do you really think we have to say? At any rate, I’ve come up with something so here I am.

We bought a car. Now for most people that’s nothing to write home about. Or certainly to write about in a blog unless it’s one of those blogs about cars. Which this isn’t. But for us, buying a car is an RBD! (Really Big Deal!) Because you see, it’s not something we do everyday. Or every decade for that matter. Over all of the years we have been buying cars (and that’s quite a few) I can count the number we have bought on one hand. Along with a couple of fingers on another. And since I actually am counting we’re talking seven cars over five decades. Most of the time we have two parked in our garage at once. At least one of our cars lived with us for almost twenty-one years while our current boarders have clocked in twelve and fourteen respectively. Suffice to say, for us walking into an automobile dealership is akin to travelling to a foreign country. Bluetooth? Lane assist? Nav what? We simply don’t speak the language. Hence the RBD.

Wait a minute! I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “I thought she liked cars!” “Small, foreign ones.”  “How can this be?” “What kind of enthusiast drives around in a twenty-one year old car?” Well therein lies the problem. I do love cars. So much so that once I get one I don’t want to let it go. I know that for some people cars are just a few thousand pounds of steel and rubber (with a hint of plastic depending on your taste). Transportation, plain and simple. But give that hunk of steel a name and a birthday and now you have a horse of a different colour. Now you have a relationship, a bond of sorts. A new friend. Which explains the longevity. I mean who gets rid of a dear old friend just because they get a little rusty or find themselves with a dent or two? Well, to answer that rhetorical question, every once in a while we do. Because sometimes we just have to say “goodbye”.

Now this outpouring of affection may seem a little strange coming from the shallow gal but keep in mind that we’re talking about a car here. So I’m comfortable with it. We’re pretty sure we’ve found a good home for our “Little Fella” which makes us all feel just that much better about the whole thing. And now we wait, just a little anxiously, for our new arrival, a red and black Mini. Or as our mini loving friend DB would have it, a Bini. Unfortunately it will be a few more months before our new friend pulls into her (his?) new home, but we’re nothing if not patient. Besides, I figure it’s going to take us just about that long to come up with the perfect name for our shiny new friend.

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Apr 09 2014
2 Comments
Instructive

There is such a thing as a free lunch

freeI’m afraid I’ve been remiss but please don’t mistake this for an apology. It’s more of an explanation really. The thing is I started this blog for a couple of reasons. The first was to help people better understand the benefits of living life as a shallow person. I hope I have done that by sharing with you some of the stories of my life. The second was to provide those of you inclined to follow in my steps with some tricks and tips for doing so. And this is where I think I may have stumbled just a bit. Because I haven’t really focused on the “how to’s” which isn’t all that surprising since I have never been one to tell people what to do. Except of course the kids. But that’s to be expected. So, I was quite pleased the other day when I came upon a situation that reminded me what this blog was all about and how I might have gotten slightly off the path I was trying to beat. It was, as they say in my world, a teachable moment.

It all started with a coffee meeting set up to discuss some really important work stuff. A little before we were to meet, my wonderful colleague (yes, she reads the blog) let me know that if she arrived before I did she would pick up my drink for me. My immediate reaction was “how lovely of her” followed closely by “so what would it hurt if I’m a couple of minutes late?”. And sure enough, when I arrived I found both her and my drink waiting patiently for me. It was at that moment I realized there really is such a thing as a free lunch, or at the very least, a coffee and that perhaps this particular skill of mine was something to be shared with others. Because, as you can see, it’s about the timing. Late enough to ensure she would get there before me but not so late to cause her to become irritated. Or let my drink get tepid. But while the timing is critical, what is even more important in a situation such as this, is to shed any shred of guilt you might feel about pulling this off. Which, goes without saying, is not all that difficult for a truly shallow person.

Let’s look at another example. You’ve just finished a delish repast with a friend you haven’t seen for perhaps forty years or so. You’ve exchanged the requisite numbers of stories about kids, travel and first husbands when it occurs to you that a moment even more uncomfortable than the conversation you have just experienced is still to come. Let’s face it. You know the server will place the cheque strategically at equi distance between you and your lunch partner so here’s what you need to do. Hesitate for just a moment. If you have to, save that last forkful of desert for this very purpose and when your new found friend reaches to pick up the cheque, resist any urge you may have to suggest a different solution to this problem. No matter what that little voice inside your head tells you just say “how nice”, and “thank you”. To assuage any twinges of guilt you may have at this juncture, think of it this way. Either she has enjoyed your company so much that she’s happy to pay or she has way more money than you do. One way or the other it’s a win-win and you just got a free lunch. Remember, timing and guilt.

Of course it won’t always go this way. There are those who prefer a more collaborative arrangement, a “round robin” of sorts where they get this one and you get the next. Go ahead and make that deal. But may I respectfully suggest that before your next date you take another boo at “Forgetting…it’s an art”. I’m guessing that little refresher will come in handy right about now.

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