Monthly Archives: July 2014

Thank Goodness for Facebook!

thumbs upI learn a lot from Facebook. For starters, I now know where each and every one of my friends go for fun and entertainment, even when they are having all of that fun without me. I know where they go to eat and what they ate when they got there, saving me not only time and money but often ensuring that I have an even more satisfactory culinary experience than they did. I’ll be the first to admit that I learn from the mistakes of others. And it’s now exponentially easier for me to learn about my friend’s political views, who they support and don’t support, what issues are important to them and what they like and don’t like. Afterall, it’s not the way it was in the “old days”. I mean back then if you wanted to protest something you had to march down to city hall and join a crowd of possibly thousands of like minded people carrying placards, singing protest songs and chanting some catchy phrase like “Hell no! We won’t go!” (“we” weren’t really in any danger of “going” anywhere, but that was beside the point) and there were so many people that no one even knew you were there.  But now all you have to do is post a video of Rob Ford or some activist pontificating about the plight of women or men or the need to spay and neuter (the latter being primarily with regard to animals, btw) and we all pretty much know where you stand.

One of my favourite things is having the opportunity to live vicariously through all of my friends’ adventures as they post pictures of the wonderful and exotic places they visit. Places I am unlikely to ever frequent due to my rather narrow tolerance of heat, with regard to both temperature and food. It’s true, I’m a bit of a diva when it comes to vacays which, as a result, means that touring Africa or Asia through the eyes of others is likely as close as I will ever get. So I learn a lot about travel, albeit mostly other peoples.

But perhaps even more importantly, I learn a lot about myself. You see, I’ve been on Facebook since 2007 and during that time have had the opportunity to partake in a vast array of quizzes that have led me to know and understand myself just so much better. All I can say is thank goodness for Facebook as otherwise I’m not sure I would have ever reached the level of introspection which I now profess to have. Because, as a shallow person, I am sometimes wont to neglect this type of self-reflective activity and I am therefore deeply indebted, if not grateful, that as a member of Facebook I am guided thus to do so. So let me share a smattering of what I’ve learned about me with you.

1) My left brain is pretty much non-existent which probably doesn’t surprise most people but could be of some concern to my boss

2) I should be living in New York. I’d be ok with that if I did, but I don’t.

3) If I was a cheese (and that’s a big “if”) I would be Gouda and belong in a “cheese museum of perfection”. Sounded good until I read the “people will want to eat you until you were gone” part.

4) Talk show host? I’m Seth Myers and “the smartest person in the room with plenty of important thoughts to get across to the world”. I knew there was a reason I’ve been writing this blog!

5) If I took high school Chemistry now I would get a D. Not bad since I actually never took Chemistry when I was in high school.

6) Apparently I would be Taystee in “Orange is the New Black”. I’ve never seen it so will have to take their word for it.

7) My aura is yellow. I’m “optimistic and intelligent, with a friendly, creative presence”. I  was pretty confident that was absolutely right on the money until I realized I had already taken the quiz a few months back. At that time my aura was red which meant I had an “insatiable urge to win”. Seems just a little contradictory to me and since it’s pretty hard to verify, I gotta say it’s all a tad confusing.

8) You know I love a good Rom Com so no way I could pass up finding out which Queen I would be if I was one. Looks like me and Sandra B. share the same love of checklists. Wait a minute. Isn’t that a left brain thing?

9) Have to admit I was a little disappointed to learn that in the world of Shrek I’d be wearing Lord Farquaad’s garb. Donkey, Gingerbread Man or Puss in Boots, those are characters I can get my head around. I suppose though that being a “born villain” can’t be all bad.

I could go on but I think you can see how important Facebook has been in contributing to my understanding of myself. Of late I’ve been tempted to complete a quiz that measures how shallow I am, but I think both you and I already know the answer to that.

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Things I don’t need to know (TIDNTK)

stopSo I’m sitting on our fav patio having my usual grande non-fat, no foam latte, (the specifics of which you should know in case you ever want to “treat”) pretty much minding my own business, when the woman sitting at the next table strikes up a conversation. It wasn’t one of those really interesting conversations that people sometimes have over a cuppa. To be honest, I can’t really remember what triggered the chit chat but I’m pretty sure it was along the lines of “Wonderful day! Nice that the weather has finally warmed up. Afterall, it is July.”  a commonly expressed sentiment in my part of the world. Or perhaps she commented on someone walking by dressed, to be polite, unusually, confident that my opinion would mesh with hers. And although our encounter was short it was clear that in some way, if only in her mind, she and I had grown close, by whatever metric one can measure closeness between two, until that moment, strangers.

I know this must be the case because a short while later, and after we had both comfortably returned our attentions back to our regular coffee partners, she got up and walked toward the door of the cafe, stopping just long enough to look me straight in the eye and proclaim, in the most matter of fact way that “coffee goes right through me.”  Just like that. She stopped to tell me she had to go to the bathroom and pretty much what she was going to do there. This person who I had, in the broadest sense of the word “known” for just short of ten minutes, shared with me what I would consider to be one of the most private of bodily functions. Now I know that some people would shrug this sort of thing off with the oft, perhaps even overused saying we have come to know as TMI (too much information) but not I. For me, this open and rather uninhibited disclosure was simply a thing I did not need to know (TIDNTK) at all. Because I don’t. I don’t need to know anything about anyone else’s bodily functions. I mean it’s enough that I have to deal with my own which, if you don’t mind my saying, can be problematic in of themselves.

As I reflected on this encounter I realized that there are other TIDNTK. Like secrets. Now I love a good secret as much as the next person but here’s the problem. As you may recall (and if you don’t, as always you can read about it here) I don’t have the very best memory. So when you tell me a secret one of two things is going to happen. There’s a very distinct possibility that I’m going to forget what you told me which is probably the least of two evils, but nonetheless makes the whole exercise rather pointless. The more problematic outcome is that I’m going to remember what you told me but forget that “don’t tell anyone but…” part of the conversation, rendering the aforementioned “secret” less so. Which is never a good thing.

Finally, and this is by no means a comprehensive list, I never need to know how much you paid for anything. Now this may surprise some of you who know a little bit about my background since, my Mother at the ripe old age of almost 99 (maybe that’s something you didn’t need to know) can, at a moments notice, rhyme off the price she paid for each of the 6 steaks she served for dinner on July 8, 1963. So if I did want to know prices I would have come by it honestly. But the thing is I don’t. You see, if I bought the same item and paid more for it than you did, I’m just going to feel bad. And if you paid more for it than I did, well what good is that going to do you? If we paid the same then I suppose I knew all along what you paid, so what did I gain by your telling me? And then there is always the chance that you tell me how much you paid for something just to let me know that you could. Silly, because that will likely result in my being judgmental and thinking about how stupid you were to pay so much and not wait for whatever it was to go on sale. Because everything always does.  And that’s what I would do if only to avoid the aforementioned “feeling bad” thing. So, as you can see none of this is good, ergo best not to know in the first place.

I’m sure there are many more TIDNTK but they’ll have to wait ‘cause I gotta run. Must have been something I ate.


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