Tag Archives: Grades

Happy Anniversary to Me

cupcake_lightYou’ve probably been wondering what happened to me over these past few days since I’m a bit tardy getting to this post. Well, I’ve been celebrating a little of late and, if I must admit, feeling just a bit smug. I know it’s hard to believe but this week marks one year since I started the shallow blog, and I’m still here. As I recall, it was early on in this endeavor that I mentioned that, as a shallow person, I don’t have a stellar record when it comes to sticking things out. So it is somewhat remarkable, even to me, that I have been diligent enough to write this blog each and every week for a whole year. Ok, if I have to be totally honest, this is post number 51 (really, is anyone perfect?) which nonetheless is pretty indicative of my commitment to the cause. As you can only imagine, it’s a rather important milestone for me and I have struggled to find the right words for the occasion. At the six month mark I shared with you the progress that the blog had made and promised to update you on that at the end of the year. You know I’m a woman of my word but a cursory look at the current stats made me reconsider my earlier pledge as really, at 32 followers, 2,653 views and 150 comments there’s not that much to write about. Not to mention that there have been no t-shirts or mugs sold.

So I have to admit that it has taken an extraordinary amount of thinking on my part to come up with just the right topic for this auspicious event but I think I have finally figured out the “right thing to do”. Now here’s a little secret I haven’t shared with you to date. Most of my revelations about what to write for the blog come to me while I am in the shower (TMI?). I can’t really be sure, and this is not a proven scientific fact, but I’m guessing it has something to do with the water pounding on my head stimulating my brain. But that’s not what happened this time. No, this time I was sitting on a bench, waiting for the train that would get me to work and since I had just missed one I had a whole 9 minutes to kill. At first I was kicking myself for forgetting to bring a book but as I sat down on the cold, steel bench (which may also have had an effect albeit on a different part of my body) it occurred to me that I could use this time to think about the blog. And that’s when it hit me.

Something else you may not know about me is that I have spent a good deal of my life to date studying how adults learn and, as an educator of adults I know that reflection is a really important part of the learning process. So my first inclination was to help you to reflect by looking back at the blog for the whole year and sharing with you what you have learned about me and about being shallow. And then I thought “why not take this chance to do a little reflecting myself?” because the other thing I remembered about what I learned in school was the importance of self-reflection and what better time to do that than on an anniversary such as this one. Unlike New Year’s Eve, there’s no expectations around making resolutions or promises for a better year or anything like that. Rather reflection is an introspective process through which I may or may not decide to change and, in any case, whether I do or not will only be known to me as I’m not about to share that information with anyone else. So without further ado, and with deference and apologies to my hero, Mr. D. Letterman, (yes, shallow people have heroes too) I present to you the “top ten thingswe have learned about me over the past year.

  1. I’m ok with constantly being told I look like Babs and it doesn’t bother me much that I can’t sing like her. What really irks me is not having her money.
  2. I like small foreign cars. I sometimes drive them too fast. I always get caught. Maybe next time I should just settle for the Impala.
  3. When it comes to being shallow I have no problem making the grade. Not sure I’m going to be able to say the same about my course at Harvard.
  4. I’m an avid Folk Fest “goer” even though I don’t own any zip-offs or tie-dye; consider my flat iron to be my most valuable possession; and devoted three days of the blog to mocking (in my own way) this kumbaya event. Now that I’m thinking about it, perhaps I should give it a pass this year and save the 179 bucks.
  5. I don’t like lists so I have no resolutions and my bucket is empty. No matter, I still really want to to win the lottery.
  6. Shallow people get sad too although it would appear, never for more than a week at a time. Apparently we bleed just like everyone else but our skin may be a little thicker.
  7. I travel a lot for business and pleasure and I am pleased to have been able to substitute chit chat” for that “little white pill. I’m guessing there are a lot of people who probably wish I hadn’t.
  8. I refer to my Mother a lot. Come on people! She’s 97 years old! Just how shallow do you think I am?
  9. As much as I like Mr. Letterman I’m not as hooked on the number 10 as he is.

Well that’s it in a nutshell. I’ve paid my 18 bucks so I’m in for another round. Makes me think I just might have to change my mantra to “one year at a time.”

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Give Me an “A”!

Letters photo credit:mwookie, stock.xchngI had a feeling from the get-go that this blog could get me in trouble and, as luck would have it, I’m afraid that it has. Not only are some of my readers questioning my ability to remain shallow while being as introspective as I have been, I find myself wondering whether I have made a slight move to the dark side, as I like to call it. So I’ve been thinking that now might be a good time to take stock of the ways that I continue to live shallowly. Hopefully this will remove any shadows of doubt.

Since I have been steeped in academe for the past 20 years or so I decided the best way to approach this task was to identify key outcomes, set up some criteria by which to measure performance and finally, assign a mark to each. So here I go and I’m keeping my fingers crossed I get a passing grade.

TV: I watch a fair bit of TV which in and of itself may not add up to much since, as we all know there are plenty of PBS documentaries, Discovery Channel educational programs and political debates on the schedule these days. And if I was watching those I’d be concerned, but I’m not. Nope, and as much as it pains me to say this out loud, over the past few years I have learned a) how to lose 200 pounds in less than a year which btw, I sincerely hope I never have to do; b) how to outwit, outplay, and outlast which could come in handy should I ever find myself on a deserted island somewhere in the South Pacific with 17 strangers and; (perhaps least helpful and most inane) c) how to find the perfect mate by “getting to know” and systematically vetting 25 bachelors or bachelorettes over a period of 10 weeks all the while looking great for the TV cameras. (Do they really sleep with 4 different people in 4 nights just to be “sure”?) At first blush it looks like I could be in line for full marks on this one but since I have to be entirely honest to make this work, I must include on my list Jeopardy, “the thinking person’s game show” and Mad Men which, even though I watch primarily because Peggy and I have, or in my case “had” surprisingly similar taste in clothes, is likely the most critically acclaimed show currently on the air. A .5 deduction for each seems fair, don’t you think?

Grade: 4/5

Facebook: I’m on it which imho is worth about 3 points but I’m pretty sure I can score more than that in this category. My primary reason for going on FB was to stay connected with my nephew in Toronto which I know sounds like a contender for a significant deduction, but before you judge, I did so by becoming his neighbor in Farmville. After about 6 weeks he tired of the game and stopped playing and had I too called it quits at that time I could be underwater on this one. Fortunately, I stayed the course and continued to play for the next two and a half years, during which time I managed to recruit a number of my highly educated and sophisticated friends and colleagues. To solidify my rating I will now disclose that a significant number of my FB “friends” are actually FV neighbors who I don’t know but keep in the hopes that they will read this blog. Please don’t “unfriend” me now.

Grade: 4.5/5

The Treadmill: This one could get me in real trouble if I was actually going on the treadmill for the multitude of health benefits known to be associated with this type of activity. No doubt a woman of my age should not only be thinking about reaping the cardio advantages of a 5km walk but also of the potential gain in bone density that is known to be the result of vigorous exercise. However, since the sole purpose of my travaille six nights each week (I do go out once in a while) is to lose weight I think I’m safe. Just in case there are still some doubts, we’re not talking life saving, “you’re on the brink of serious health problems if you don’t slim down” kind of weight loss. No, this quest is to lose the one, maybe two pounds I need to get back into those designer “boyfriend” jeans I bought on a “skinny day” in California last year (of course everyone looks slightly more attractive in California…I think it has something to do with the mirrors). And really, while I can still squeeze into them in my present condition, I am simply trying to avoid turning into an uncharacteristic shrew (trust me, the world would be a better place if we all wore slightly looser jeans) while wearing them on the six minute drive from my home to my favourite Starbucks. Since in spite of my singular intention I will probably still accrue the aforementioned health benefits, I’ll concede to a .5 deduction here.

Grade: 4.5/5

The Blog: My initial thought is that I get full points here. I know there have been some inconsistencies and I have stuck with the blog for longer than I ever imagined I would. But let’s face it, surely anyone who spends this much time and effort convincing other people of how shallow they are deserves full credit for their efforts. I’m going with my gut on this one.

Grade: 5/5

So there you have it. I’ve scored 18/20 or 90% on this objective assessment. Yes, there’s room for improvement but there always is. For now I think I’m going to be just fine.

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