Tag Archives: friends

May 22 2013
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Informative

I Admit It!

magnifying_glassI am almost absolutely certain that there are more people reading this blog than reflected in my WordPress stats. I say this because there are times when my weekly numbers don’t even account for the relatives I am foisting my words upon. Nor for the numerous business cards (or perhaps more accurately stated “blog cards”) I have given out to almost everyone I have come into contact with over the past year. Or even the close friends I have cultivated on my Facebook page for the sole purpose of augmenting my readership. All told, if I believed the stats I would have to conclude that there are many people who should be, but are not, reading the blog. Which leads me to what appears to be the only other logical conclusion, that my most loyal followers are receiving the blog in their emails and simply reading it there, and that’s fine with me. Because even though the numbers don’t always add up, there’s enough other information there to allow me to speculate about who stops by, how they get there and what they might be looking for, which is no more a waste of my time than what I would normally do while sitting in my chair.

As we know we live in an increasingly global world and since my mission is to help all people, regardless of race, religion, colour, ethnicity etc. to become one with their shallow self, there is nothing that makes me happier than discovering that people from the four corners of the globe (are there corners on a globe?) are reading the blog. I’m sure it won’t surprise you that, outside of Canada, most of my visitors come from the United States of America which I think makes sense since for the most part we speak the same language, in more ways than one. But part of the fun is that I never know who’s going to stop by. There have been visitors from as far away as Iran and Iraq who, I’m thinking, may not only struggle with the words but also the sentiments expressed heretofore. And if they do understand, I often wonder whether they spend time exploring the archives or simply cut their losses by navigating away as quickly as they can. Just today someone from Guernsey came by and, even though it’s a country that’s so small it doesn’t show up on the handy world map that WordPress provides, I’m glad to have been able to share my thoughts with him or her in whatever part of the world they might be. But not only do I know where my visitors are coming from, I also have an inkling of how and why they arrived as WordPress shares the search terms that brought them to me. And that’s where things get really interesting.

I’ve learned that many of the people who come upon my blog by chance have actually been searching Google for an image that I suppose they want to put on their own blog. Some have stopped by for a pic of the world while others, who have perhaps shared with me the misfortune of moving a little too quickly on the blacktop, are looking for flashing police lights to display. I have both of those and I’m guessing that I searched Google to get them too. I’ve got to say though that I’m a little baffled by the fact that the search term that most frequently brings otherwise unsuspecting people to the blog is “conversations with my hairdresser” which raises a number of questions in my mind. I mean do people really plan and prepare ahead of time what they are going to say while their hair is being shampooed? Has the art of conversation been so lost that we need guidance on how to speak more than 140 characters at a time? Or is there just so little happening in their lives that they have to look to others for inspiration? Come on people! We’re talking about an hour of chit chat, most of which won’t even be heard over the drone of the blow dryer. And while I am more than happy for the increased traffic and would never turn anyone away, surely we can do that much without Google.

However, perhaps the most significant information I have recently received on my WordPress stats page was the fact that someone found their way to my space using the search term “Doesn’t anyone admit that this is a shallow world?”  I admit it!! And that’s what they discovered when Google brought them to my  “It’s a Shallow World After All”  post. To be honest, it kind of gave me goose bumps because as you know, I want to help in whatever small way that I can. After all, shallow people like to give back too.

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Mar 18 2013
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Instructive

Blasts from the Past

emailThe internet has changed everything and I can say that with some authority since I spend an inordinate amount of time on it, both at work and at home. Of course it goes without saying there’s good and bad stuff about this relatively new phenomenon and it also has the unique characteristic of being both a time saver and time waster. I mean, let’s face it. All those hours you used to spend at the library seeking just the right book to support the rather spurious arguments you were making in your final history paper have been replaced by a quick search on Google Scholar where in just minutes you can find a multitude of like-minded authors making the same spurious arguments. And imagine the time and money you could save if, like me, you register for a course, free of charge at Harvard which, when successfully completed, will garner you a frame-worthy certificate to proudly hang on your office wall confirming to everyone that you really are as smart as you think you are. And I’m pretty sure you’ll be successful even if you check off the box promising not to cheat, which is important because this is Harvard and there’s an expectation of rigour associated with the ivy league. And let’s not forget the shopping. The internet has given new meaning to the “let your fingers do the walking” ditty as now one visit to your fav “bricks and mortar” store to nail down sizes will suffice and all future purchases can be made with just a click of the wrist. No more driving through traffic, combing the mall parking lot for a spot or paying exorbitant fees to occupy a ten by eight section of pavement for a couple of hours which, if factored out on a yearly basis, would probably cover the rent on a small penthouse.

But it’s not all “raindrops and roses” or, like my Mother says “peaches and cream”, as anyone who has ever whiled away more than a few hours managing a fake farm, building towers out of oddly shaped blocks or shooting throngs of attacking aliens, knows. The internet has led us down some less savoury paths, ones which are perhaps better off having not been chosen. Not that it hasn’t been exciting. I mean we can now connect to just about everything and everybody at the touch of a button, but there’s a flip side to that coin. You see it’s given rise to an odd sort of epidemic and since it’s caught up with me I’d bet a buck or two that it’s caught up with you too. What you ask, is this affliction to which I refer? Well, let’s just say that, of late, there has been a rash of people who, despite their better judgement, feel compelled to reconnect with old pals, most likely because they have shown up on their “people you might know” block on LinkedIn. Or maybe one day, with nothing else to do, they decided to google everyone in their high school yearbook, just for fun. Which would be fine if that was where it all ended. But it doesn’t.  I have to confess that this new trend confuses me a tad. Because when I think about it, I realize that communication tools have been around for some time and yet have not traditionally been employed in this manner. Perhaps they’re just so free and easy now, like my course at Harvard. Regardless, the bottom line is that one day, when you least expect it, you will open your inbox and find an email from someone who hasn’t contacted you in 40 years, and it will go something like this:

“Hey! Long time, no see. Saw your pic on [insert your favourite social media site here] and can’t believe you haven’t changed a bit. So what’s been happening?”

Before I go on, let me stop for a moment and explain that I have actually successfully connected in this way with one or two people from the past and have very much enjoyed becoming reacquainted. In fact some of you may be reading this blog but these are exceptions to the rule. Because even as a shallow person who is no stranger to the niceties and nuances of meaningless chit chat, and who, if I have to say so myself, is pretty darn good at it, I find most of these “blast from the past” conversations to be a bit of a stretch. Honestly, “what’s been happening?” Would that be over the last 40 years? Let’s see, where do I start because 40 years is a pretty long time and this could take a while. I mean it took Moses 40 years to get the people of Israel out of the desert and some pretty significant stuff went on during that time. And don’t get me started on that “you haven’t changed a bit” malarky which could only be true if I was prematurely wrinkled and gray at 20. Or just maybe I have had tons of “work” done, as they say, in the interim. And you gotta know I’m not going to share that information with someone I haven’t heard from in 40 years. The bottom line is you’ll probably share an email or two, promise to get together next time you’re in town, and then promptly forget that you did.

So here’s my advice. Next time you get the overwhelming urge to entertain the ill conceived notion that the internet should be used to connect with people from your distant past, think again. I’m guessing that in most cases you’ll quickly realize there was probably a pretty good reason that you didn’t stay in touch in the first place and won’t hit the send key. And please don’t worry about taking as much time as you need to decide. After all, what’s another 40 years between friends?

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Nov 18 2012
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Informative

My New Friend

This week something very special happened to me. I made a new friend. A real, in person friend. Not one of those people who finds you on Facebook by searching “people who at some point in time lived in my city, went to my school, worked for my employer, and/or has a somewhat tenuous connection to me through a friend of a friend of a friend”. Don’t get me wrong. I have lots of those too which is fine since there’s not much maintenance and at least a couple of them probably take the time to read this blog each week. And sometimes it might even make sense to find friends that way.

The other day I went searching through the computer generated list of “friend possibilities” on FB and there amongst all the people who know people I know, was someone whose only common characteristic is that we share exactly the same name. Which I guess is not such a bad thing on which to base a friendship and, I will have to admit, almost made me want to send her a “friend request”. Because I started to imagine what would happen if everyone on FB friended everyone else with the same name. In my case it would generate nine new instant friendships but for some people I would imagine it could run into the hundreds. Think about it. All the people in the world who share the same name could eventually be friends. And every once in awhile they could arrange a get together in one of their cities and it would be really easy for them to meet each other because it eliminates a multitude of problems. No more embarrassing moments trying to put a “name to a face”. No more worries about where to place those silly “Hello, My name is…” name tags that often interfere with the presentation of your painstakingly put together ensemble. And if you have so much to drink that you can’t remember your own name, well there’s going to be someone around who can help you out. I’ll admit that checking in at the hotel could be a little problematic but you have to agree it does shine a whole new light on finding a place where “everyone knows your name”. But I digress.

For many of you who know me well you are probably surprised to find out that I have a new friend since you are accustomed to hearing me say that my “friend drawer is full”. And for the most part, it is. But there are times when you just have to find a little extra space, to make room for just one more paperclip in your mountain of office supplies. And this was that time. This week I made my new friend at the mall while paying for my purchases. Somehow during the usual vacant chit chat that occurs while totals are being tallied and credit cards are being charged, the cashier and I bonded. I mean really bonded. In that very short time I learned enough about her to know we have a ton of stuff in common.

She is 33 years old (ok we don’t have that in common) but she told me that she has lots of older friends so it’s ok. She has a university education and so do I. She recently moved to our city from my old stomping grounds in Ontario. She likes her new digs but she doesn’t like the cold, and I’m with her on that. She likes the same clothes that I do which kind of goes without saying since I was shopping in her store. And she loves a good sale which is how we met in the first place. This relationship moved along so quickly that before we knew it we were planning a shopping trip to Seattle which is, coincidentally where I am going this week, but since she can’t get the time off at such short notice will have to wait until next time.

Now I know some of you are thinking this may not be as real a friendship as I think it is and that I might be better off focusing on connecting with the same name people. But I’m happy with the arrangement that me and my new friend have. I mean let’s face it. She’s always going to smile when she sees me coming; she’s going to do whatever she can to help me out; and no matter what I put on, I’m pretty sure she’s going to tell me that I look great. And as Ms. Warwick would say “that’s what friends are for“.

But you know, now that I think about it, she doesn’t even really know my name.

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