I know, I know! There’s been a lull. You’re wondering where I have been. Last you knew I was making my yearly pilgrimage to the Folk Fest and next thing you know I have all but disappeared. Perhaps you’re thinking that after all those days and nights sitting on the hill under the stars, dancing and singing along to sometimes meaningful songs, eating primarily healthy food for four days and communing with my new “not on Facebook” friends, that I had abandoned my shallow ways. Maybe while sitting in the shadow of downtown Edmonton, which from this very unique vantage point has buildings that appear almost doll-like, carefully placed one by one in an effort to create the quintessential city sky-scape, I might have turned over a new leaf and started to think about writing something a tad more profound. Nope, nothing of the sort. I will admit to feeling a small lump in my throat listening to Nathan Roger’s rendition of his Father’s immortal “North West Passage” but that’s the only concession I’m prepared to make. Last time I looked, I’m as shallow as ever. So why the delay?
To tell the truth the Folk Fest wears me out. Four days of rising early to get a prime tarp placement, standing in line for just about everything and trekking around a site that in colder climes is a ski hill, makes me tired. So as much as I wanted to get this “wrap-up” wrapped up, I just couldn’t do it primarily because each time I sat down in my favourite chair to write, I fell asleep. Oh yeah, and I had to get the pictures developed. (Just kidding…I know you don’t have to develop digital pictures). You see, while at the “fest” it occurred to me that there may have been some doubt as to the accuracy of my previously posted “Shallow Guide”, some question as to my use of literary exaggeration to make a point, and that it would serve me well to obtain enough evidence to convince my readers that there are no fictional accounts on this blog. Unfortunately I didn’t think about this until the third day so I did the best I could, with a little help from my friends (thanks to Marsha, Wade, Nicole and “the Kev”), in the limited time that remained. And rather than bore you with thousands of words, I thought for this post I would let the pics do most of the talking.
And then it came to me. Why not take this opportunity to engage my readership (that’s you) in a little interactivity, as we like to call it in the education biz. So here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to fill you in on the first few pictures and then you can do the rest of the work. In the final collage of pictures you will find evidence of all that I spoke about in the “guides” and all you have to do is figure out what’s what.
I’m not going to call this a “contest” lest there be some government regulation legally preventing me from doing so but there are prizes to be had, probably from the dollar store and likely made in China. In fact, there are two prizes; one for the first, most accurate answers and one for the funniest answers, the latter being subject to my own judgmental self. You can post your answers in the comments or send them to me privately, if you know my email address. Whatever you decide, at some point, if I don’t already know who you are, you’re going to have to come clean so I can send you your prize. If you are not already a follower on this blog, seems to me this might be a good time to start.
So let’s get to it.
As I suspected, the guys and gals were sporting their “Toms“.
And their funky Tees:
They were hoppin’, boppin’ , glowin’ and holding candles to the wind:
And fortunately for all of us, these guys weren’t sitting in this chair:
Here’s where the fun begins! Now it’s your turn. Just match the pic to that valuable information contained in the “Guides” (one, two and three) and you’re in.
How about we make Friday, August 24th the deadline just so this thing doesn’t go on for too long. That will also give me time to figure out what to write about next. Did I mention there is no fiction on this blog?
Shallow Be My Name 
OMG forget the Folk Fest – I want that “The Angels Have The Phone Box” Doctor Who t-shirt! If it says “Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey” on the back I will rip it right off that person’s body and steal it. And since the person wearing it is at the Folk Fest, they’re probably too pacifist to fight back. Hmm. Formulating a plan…
As for the “interactivity” and going clockwise from the top left…
1 – Perrier – Part 2, no glass bottles allowed. Who knew you could get snooty Perrier in plain ole plastic?
2 – hair – Part 3, where you stop styling your hair. Is this a picture of you?
3 – blue pants – Part 3, skinny jeans. Or are those jeggings? Either way, it’s just wrong.
4 – chairs – Part 2, where everyone has to chuck out their Costco chairs and buy brand-new, EFMF-branded ones. Vivre le capitalisme.
5 – blue loos – Part 1, where you line up for hours to use a dirty public toilet, as part of the Folk Fest rite of “passage.”
6 – peace ball – Part 2, where you’re supposed to bring a beach ball with the world on it. This guy wants peace, presumably world peace, so he’s close enough.
7 – zipper pants – Part 3, where you’re supposed to wear zipper pants to Folk Fest but NOWHERE ELSE, EVER. (I’m paraphrasing.)
8 – snacks on a tarp – Part 2, where you have to bring snacks and you have to bring a tarp. See also: Admiral Ackbar. (“It’s a tarp!”)
9 – backpack – Part 2, where you need a bag to carry all your stuff like your zipper pants bottoms and your tarp and snacks.
10 – denim jacket – Part 3, where denim shirts are only allowed if they’re vintage Levi. And even then you will be judged and pointed at.
Ok, I hope those are correct. To all you people reading this comment, don’t steal my answers. They’re copyrighted and I will sue you and take the shirt right off your back, especially if that shirt has obscure Doctor Who references on it. (“Oh look, I’m wearing a vegetable.”)
Number 10 is, I believe, a double header from part 3. It’s both a demin jacket and a “a particularly unique ‘pride’ symbol (the rainbow Star of David works here).”
The Shallow Blog Powers That Be (SBPTB) have informed me that one of my answers is “wrong” (insert sarcastic air quotes here because a *true* Folkie would be all about peace and love and accepting everyone’s answers). So I’d like to change my answer to picture #5 as follows:
5 – blue loos – Part 3, where the benefit of zip-off pants is that you don’t have to use the “bathroom (honestly, that’s what they call those things)” to change your pants when the weather cools off.
Also, I have to wonder if the SBPTB just didn’t get my “passage” comment. Because what shallow person doesn’t like a good poop pun?
I change my answer again! #5 goes back to my original answer, and I change #10 to the old guy pulling the last few remaining strands of his hair (and youth) back into a ponytail.
I know you have been anxiously awaiting the results and the day has finally arrived! After much deliberation, and a few missteps I might add, I am pleased to announce that Louisa has been declared the winner in not one, but two categories. Come on…her answers were laugh out loud funny and almost all correct! In particular, her assertion that I might be a “true” Folkie gave me a little extra chuckle since there is something so unshallow about that possibility. I mean I “go” to the FF, I’m not “one” with it. At any rate, the prizes have been awarded, the activity is complete (the response was overwhelming in some ways), the 2012 FF is behind us so let’s stick a fork in it and call this one done.
Woohoo! I won the interactivity!! I’d like to think that in my real life I’m also laugh-out-loud funny and almost always correct. I would not like to be informed if this is false.
For the record, I “did” the activity but I’m not “one” with it. I’m one with The Force and there’s no room for any more oneness.
Wendy, it took me a couple days to twig onto one thing you said, but I’m LOLing about how you can go to Folk Fest for 25 years and not be “one” with it by now. 🙂 You’re probably a true folkie whether you’re aware of it or not. It’s ok if you can’t say it. There are 12-step programs to help you come to terms with it.