Shallow Be My Name

Just back from a hot time in the “Big Easy” and I mean that in the most literal way. Boy, was it hot! It’s been more than thirty years since I have lived in a humid climate and I was painfully reminded of why I left. The oppressive heat hits like a brick each and every time you walk outside while the blast of cold air as you enter the always over air-conditioned buildings sends shivers up your spine. You change your clothes multiple times each day knowing that after a few short minutes outside you will feel the need to change them again. Although you have every intention to drink in all the sights, sounds and smells of this truly amazing city, you find yourself longing for the comfort of your hotel room, a cold drink and some rest for your tired and blistered feet. And while you would think that together these harsh realities would be enough for me to find myself craving the cool, dry air of my prairie/mountain town, none of it holds a candle to the real reason for my discontent. No, the truth of it is, the most distressing part of my stay in the deep south was my inability, no matter how hard I tried, to maintain my naturally curly locks in the manner to which they and I have become accustomed. I’m afraid there is no product, no appliance, no amount of effort that would allow me to recreate the no fuss, straight bob I so enjoy when I am north of the 49th. And that, my friends, is possibly the most important thing I learned at the conference. Indulge me while I reflect on some others.

Things I learned at the conference in New Orleans:

1. Vegan food is only meant to be eaten by vegans.
2. When visiting Youngwood, PA drop by TGI Fridays but be on the look-out for long, pointy things. (Thanks to Annette for the tip.)
3. Got a bookshelf to fill? Try using the colour block method of selection. Your room will look great, you can buy in bulk for less than 2 bucks each, and you may even find a good read among the bunch.
4. Quote from a presentation: “Starbucks is more than coffee; Amazon is more than books; iTunes is more than music.” Wait, I tried the smoothie at Starbucks. Take my advice and stick with the coffee.
5. Who would have imagined that talking to a 17-year-old kid from Flint, Michigan would be the highlight of my three days among the eLearning elite. Okay, so that’s not such a stretch after all.
6. 1600 sorority women at your hotel, all dressed in blue and yellow, is not “a good thing”.
7. Some of the toughest looking people are really nice and some of the nicest looking ones are not.
8. Apparently there are still people who don’t know the difference between SWAG and chotskies so I’ll explain. SWAG is good. Chotskies, not so much.
9. While southern hospitality is divine, my hair and I will always have a strong preference for the west coast.
10. What’s so magical about the number 10 anyway?
11. Even a shallow person knows that there’s no such thing as a “free drink”.

Oh, you thought I was going to talk about the sessions? Come on people! Have you not been reading this blog?

While I’m here I’d like to give a “shout-out” to designer extrodinaire Wade, for the nifty new logo.  Let me know what you think.