Tag Archives: CNN

Remember when friends were people you liked

"Cheers Bar photo by J. Miers / Jtesla16 at Wikimedia Commons, licensed under CC BY‑SA 1.0"

You may or may not have noticed that I haven’t written anything, not in this blog or my “I am Not a Baker” blog for a very, very long time. I don’t really have a good excuse for the latter as I bake all the time. I just don’t write about it. But this blog? This blog is tough to write in times like these. If, like me, you spend any portion of your day watching CNN you know what I’m talking about. Laugh if you must. I have learned a lot from Brianna, Jake, Dana, Laura, Erin, Wilf, Fredrika, Anderson and Kaitlin, not to mention Fareed, John and Harry. Ok. I watch more than a little CNN. I’ve learned that this world has seen better days. That one guy, who’s not even that smart, can upend the world economy at his whim. That a few megalomaniacs (that’s him too) can order people at their behest to kill each other so they can expand their own kingdoms. And while these self-professed kings occupy themselves with their exploits they sit on their proverbial asses while the world and lives around them are literally destroyed by fires and floods. Of course they do send their thoughts and prayers and a few National Guardsmen to help out. Perhaps though not as many as they send to quell the voices of those who protest against their outrageous policies. So you can see how it might be difficult to write a blog about the life of a shallow person amidst all of this tragedy, turmoil and destruction. Which is why I haven’t. And which is why this is not really a shallow blog. It’s just something I want to say. 

So what has brought me here today? Let me take a little foray into my past life to explain. And since I have a rather long past, this could take a minute. I’ll do my best though to make a longish story shortish. Those who know, know that I spent a good deal of my working life online. That’s not so unusual today but I don’t work today. Let me put this in perspective for you. I worked online before anyone really knew what a hyperlink was. And yes, we called them hyperlinks. Those who did know were concerned that being able to jump from one computer screen to another would be confusing and affect people’s ability to concentrate. It is and it does. You could only buy books on Amazon. Google was really new. There was no “voice over internet”. You get the picture. It was a long time ago. But my job was to bring people together to learn. On-line. And as much as I embraced my job, I knew from the get-go that we were not in Kansas anymore. That we had opened a whole new can of worms, a virtual Pandora’s Box (swIdt) that once opened would likely never be closed again. And while my working days are far and away, this week-end, as I settled into my Saturday morning routine, enjoying my yogurt parfait, perusing the business section of the Globe with CNN droning in the background, you know, the usual, my ears perked up when Michael Smerconish arrived with his Saturday morning commentary. Now you will note that there were no “Michaels” in my rather lengthy list of CNN favs, primarily because I have never really listened to Smerconish before. Not sure why. I just haven’t. But this Saturday morning I did. Because he was talking about something I knew a little bit about. And talked about a lot. 

You see Mr. Smerconish was talking about nostalgia. Reminiscing, it would seem, about the best time of his life. It was 1978. Honestly, at this point I wasn’t listening all that carefully (there’s only so much multi-tasking I can handle these days) but it had something to do with saving up a few shekels and going to a bar on the Jersey Shore with his buddies. Beer was 7 for a dollar. Apparently the bartender danced on the tables. Wouldn’t have been the best time of my life but who am I to judge? But then things got interesting and my ears perked up. He began to talk about connection and how people used to get together and do stuff. About how the internet has changed all of that. Rather than being a conduit to bring people closer it has served to tear us apart. Mostly because we no longer do stuff together. In person. He talked about how everything is so divisive now. How we have become isolated from one another. We no longer have the ability to compromise. Political parties have become more extreme. We’ve all picked a side and we’re staying on it. His conclusion. The internet has reshaped our world and the way we interact in it and with each other. And listening to him made me just a little nostalgic too. Not about the bars, although I probably saw a few of those. It reminded me of the times I would curl up in my big chair with books by scholars like Neil Postman and Sherry Turkle who understood that technology is a “Faustian Bargain” (Postman, Technopoly, 1992) and that being together online also meant that you were painfully alone in your room (Turkle, Alone Together, 2011).

So maybe there is a shallow part to this blog. Because this is where I’m going to say “we told you so”. At a Pecha Kucha presentation in 2011. Not to mention a keynote in St. Louis. That’s right. Just short of 15 years ago my colleague Wade (iykyk) and I got up on the stage and much to the chagrin of some in the audience, we talked about how the internet was changing our language, our interactions and our lives. How as we redefine our words we also change our understanding of our world. Think about it. There was a time where community meant attending your place of worship, being active at the PTA, or joining friends for a drink where “everyone knows your name”. But now with all of our social media, you can join an online community where not only do the members not necessarily know your name, they might not even know you are there. Your “network” consists of hundreds, if not thousands of followers on LinkedIn or X (well hopefully not there anymore). Most likely these are people you wouldn’t recognize if you fell over them. And because of Facebook you can have hundreds, if not thousands of “friends”, many of which you wouldn’t even like if you actually got to know them. Which is fine because all you have to do is “unfriend” them.

As I recall, Wade and I spent quite a lot of time thinking and talking about all of this and while we knew our sphere of influence was rather limited, we had hope.  We figured that by understanding the impact of technology on our society, by being conscious and deliberate people (that’s all of us) could drive the use of technology rather than being driven by it. That we could play an active role in what could be. We could shape a future in a world that was congruent with our vision for humanity. And we could realize that while we can have 4000 friends on Facebook, we don’t have to. Sadly, it seems, we were wrong. I know this because 15 years later Michael Smerconish is talking about the same thing as he demonstrates how our lack of connection has impacted us socially, economically and politically. His suggestion for the best way out of this quagmire we find ourselves in? Mingling. Start seeing people in person again. Get back to the bar even though I can guarantee you the beer is no longer 7 for a dollar and most likely non-alcoholic. But go anyway. Maybe don’t ask the bartender to dance on the tables. But go. To the library, the community hall, your local cafe. Anywhere other people go too. Who knows? He could be right. At this point, it can’t hurt to give it a try. 

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The Unmaking of a Shallow Person

take-the-high-roadHonestly, I never thought it would come to this. If there was anything I was ever committed to, it was my commitment to being shallow. Flashback five years ago. Way back then I prided myself on having spent one whole week writing this blog. One. Whole. Week. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would still be here five years later. Five. Years. Later. (I’ve never truly understood why people do that but what the heck.) I know. You’re going to remind me that paying my 24 buckaroonies every year around this time was at least half the reason I stuck around. Perhaps. But I truly believe it was more than that. I had a mission. I wanted to share with people what it was like to live life as a shallow person. I wanted them to know that it was ok. That one could live a rewarding and meaningful shallow life. I went so far as to let people know that it was possible to be shallow and sad, shallow and irritated and even shallow and a little scared. It was this dedication, this steadfast belief, that kept me going, posting each and every week, and then each and every other week and finally each and every month. What I didn’t anticipate those five years ago, was that it is not possible to be shallow and angry. And that’s what I am now. Angry.

Some of you are going to say “I told you so”. You’re going to confront me with some alternate facts. Facts that you think are definitive proof that I was never really all that shallow in the first place. You’ll label me a “so called” shallow person. You’ll tell me that the very act of writing this blog, of being as introspective as I have been about my shallowness, is testament to your point. That my deep thoughts about being shallow are the very antithesis of what I have professed to be over all of these many years. To you I say balderdash! Because whether you think I’m shallow or not is entirely beside the point. If I think I’m shallow then I am shallow. Sure, you might have evidence to the contrary. So what? I have better evidence that I am, or at least that I have been, shallow for the better part of my life. And I know this to be true. I mean would a person who is not shallow admit to having watched almost every reality TV show (and let me tell you that’s a very big number)  that has ever been foisted on the viewing public? Including “The Apprentice”. Before Arnold. Face it. I saw Omarosa get fired not once, but twice and even though I may have missed that lucky third time, I do believe that I have made my case. And now I expect you to think so too. And anyone who tells you different, well they’re just wrong. Probably getting some fake news from some fake person from somewhere fake.

Sorry folks. That last paragraph was just too easy. Perhaps even a little self-indulgent. It’s just this. From where I sit (literally) it is very clear that these are troubling times. The fellow that’s now calling the shots (or should I say fellas) seems to be more than a little problematic. He’s caused me and a whole whack of other people reason for concern. On very many levels. From this vantage point I would have to say we are in a kind of  time machine heading at warp speed towards the 1930s, to a place on this planet that many of us are not going to enjoy very much.  This is a guy who doesn’t trust the mainstream media, doesn’t trust the “negative” polls (which at this point would be most of them), doesn’t trust a majority of the people who live on this earth of ours, certainly doesn’t trust his political opponents, and really doesn’t trust those who have been entrusted to uphold the laws of this land of the free and home of the brave. On the flip side he does seem to trust the guy who thinks he has disguised the white supremacist movement by renaming it the “alt-right” (does he think we don’t read?) as well as the current leader of Russia who I understand might not be as trustworthy as our fella seems to believe. And here’s the thing. It’s really, really hard to be shallow when the guy at the helm who trusts almost no one can’t be trusted to do, well pretty much anything we might actually want to have done.

Perhaps not surprisingly, all of this has made me angry. And, I have to be honest with you, a little less shallow. I have abandoned “Survivor” for CNN. “The Voice” for MSNBC. I feel as though if I ran into Anderson Cooper on the street we would be on a first name basis. Rachel Maddow might as well just move in. In the past 3 weeks I’ve learned more about the U.S. Constitution than I ever expected to know and I think, if given the chance, I could probably take a reasonable stab at arguing the “merits of the case” with regard to the recent stay on the Muslim ban. (Did I say “ban”?). Quite frankly, this whole thing has pretty much turned my life upside down.

All of this, as you can plainly see, has led me to the crossroad on which I now stand. How do I continue to write about being shallow in a world that deserves some very serious attention? How do I ignore the alternate facts, the discrimination and loathing that I now see every day? And that’s when it occurred to me. This is my blog and I can write what I want to. If I want to write about being shallow, I can. But if, as has happened today, I’m feeling a little less shallow and I want to write about that, I can. I’ve written about non-shallow things before and it hasn’t worked out all that bad. As a matter of fact, people seem to like my non-shallow posts. I know that’s true because I see the numbers. And let me tell you, they’re fantastic.  Huge. Really huge. But you’ll just have to trust me on that.

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